Solutions for Canada.
Canada is in desperate need of help. The people that live in that country - that haven't migrated already - need some serious guidelines to a better life. I'll give some solutions to the most common problems.
Language:
Canadians should speak English, not French. French is the mother tongue of about 6.7 million Canadians (23% of the Canadian population). While most native French speakers in Canada live in Quebec, where it is the majority language, about one million native francophones live in other provinces, forming sizeable minorities. Minorities are bad. Master the English language, without the silly accent. Then if you're lucky you'll start feeling accepted by the rest of the world.
Water in your sleeves:
I've heard from a great number of Canadians that they get water in their sleeves when they wash their hands. At first I didn't believe they wash their hands, but when more than ten Canadians told me about the problem, I started believing they have heard about personal hygiene. The solution to this problem is quite easy. One would think that rolling up your sleeve would be enough to stop this problem. But that's a wrong base to work on. It's too much of an effort for them and would soon give up on this. That's why I've discovered another fact. Just wait a few minutes! According to valuable sources water dries by itself! Even if they get soap on their sleeves that would be a bonus. Their clothes would partialy be cleansed too. If that wouldn't be a first timer.
Ideas:
When a Canadian gets an idea, things tend to go terribly wrong. The best solution when you, as a Canadian reader, could get, is when you have an idea, is to not admit to it and just go lay down for a while. It will pass. Don't worry.
Itch:
When you feel some kind of itch, just scratch it. Another problem solved.
Shoelaces:
It's a common problem that when Canadians tie their shoelaces, they get them mixed up. Tieing your shoes together may occur in such cases. The first step to solve this is simple: do not run! If they still manage to be stupid enough to attempt this, it will go terribly wrong. The ones that grasp the fact that they shouldn't run, are ready for step two of my solution. Step two is - as all my solutions - quite easy. Wait until someone of another country comes to untie your shoelaces. Don't worry my Canadian friends, anyone from any country besides Canada knows what they're doing. Leave the untying to them. You'll soon be released from your helpless situation.
Holiday pictures:
When your holiday pictures appear to all be black, that doesn't neccesarely mean your camera has gone haywire. About 99% of the times you can fix this yourself. Just remove the protection cap of the camera's lens.
One final note to all Canadians who have read this. Feel free to print this list in case you'd forget all this. I know it's a bit too much for you guys to remember this little list by head. If you guys have other problems I haven't handled today, feel free to e-mail me by clicking here. I'll be happy to help you and help this world becoming a better place.
(started 05-08-07)
(last updated 05-08-07)
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