I am a multipurpose prince
Wow, I went through a big revelation a few minutes ago. I became not one, but many princes. Indeed, I'm a multipurpose prince. Some explanation needed? Sure you do, you're stupid. How could I forget that? I'll explain with the help of this really simple table:
| For Who? | What do I do or what do they want from me? |
| Bums | "Prince of Beat'em'up". Basicly I just kick their asses. When that's done, I call an ambulance. And they have a free stay at the hospital including a bed, dinner, and a hot shower. |
| Webdesigners | They all want my layout which I stole from Thilo who stole it from Maddox. |
| Thieves | They'd like my stealing skills. (see above) |
| My girlfriend (yes I have one, unbelievable) | I'm just being her boyfriend. She likes to call me her "prince". |
| Princes | Every prince on this planet wants to be like me. Because I put the 'pr*n*e' in prince. They only put the 'i' and the 'c' in there. |
| Retards | They like everyone, so whatever. |
| People who stopped drinking | When I'm in a bar with people who stopped drinking, I just drink all the beer they have so I make sure they don't start again. |
| Hatemailers | Ok, I have to admit it. I'm not the prince of hatemailers. My inbox is. But it's mine so I'm taking credit for it. |
| Pizzacompanies | Without me they'd never make the big profit they're making now. No, I don't work in such a place, I just eat lots and lots of pizza. |
| Darkness | "Prince of Darkness" .... Darkness just seems to like me. I should feel lucky. |
| People of the church | They came to my door, I opened, and they asked me if I could give them something for the poor. Knowing that I have a good heart, I gave them two things: my copy of the bible and a coupon. |
| Me | I like myself. I'm the prince of being me. Beat that, Aladdin! |
| Cigarettes | I thought they liked me. But they don't, I just burn them all to ashes and inhale them. Poor bastards. |
Everything you can think of, I'm the prince of that too. I'm the prince of your
raped mother, dead father, abused cat, retarded little brother, but not of your
garbage. I'll even be the prince of your future kids, for the time they'll live.
(no I won't reveal my evil plans ... yet).
I'm also a rent-a-prince. If you want me to be a prince for some lame project of you, transfer me $200, and I'll think about it*. I'm the prince of your bankaccount.
You might know someone who already is prince of something I clame to be prince of. In that case, we have to hold "The Princial Wars". I don't need to explain what that is, I'll win anyway. I'm also the prince of self-confidence.
Finally I'm also the prince who decides when an article should end.
(I decided)
* Money will not be refunded if I choose not to do it.
(started 05-13-05)
(last updated 05-13-05)
__back to "the princial wars"__
kings have sent me their daughter to marry me
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