I would fuck Sarah Wayne Callies
I'd fuck Sarah Wayne Callies if she'd let me. That babe is ... I'll just give you a list of 25 reasons why I'd fuck her. I'm one lazy fuck.
- She's hot.
- She's from Hawaii
- She has two parents who both are university professors.
- This means she'll enherit a lot of money when I kill her precious mommy and daddy.
- This means I'll enherit a lot of money eventually.
- She's 5'9".
- She's smaller than me.
- She graduated high school when I was 10.
- She has that typical blowjob face.
- She looks innocent in a way, but probably isn't.
- I would have to go on holiday to Hawaii.
- She never has been on Idol.
- She's a junky. But then again, all stars are. Except me.
- When faced down, she'd still look pretty.
- She knows the inside of a prison better than I do.
- She's not Paris Hilton.
And now 25 reasons why I wouldn't fuck her.
- She uses AOL instead of MSN Messenger.
- She watches Big Brother.
- She's trying to quit drugs.
- She never heard of me.
- She never pics up her phone.
- She had me thrown out of her house by 'security', several times.
- She reads thebigripoff.
- She farts in bed.
- She had more men in her life than she had cats. Waaaay more.
- She found about my plan to post her nudes on ampland.com.
- She isn't Gauge. And we all know who that is.
- She never heard of Blackadder and loves Futurama.
This concludes the "fucks" and "dont's" about Sarah Wayne Callies. For the ones who still don't know who she is. I'll give you a hint. Prison *cough* Break. Doctor *cough* Tan*cough*credi. Still nothing? Well, you're not worthy of her anyway. Too bad the relationship between Sarah and myself was stopped so abruptly. Maybe she shouldn't have found out I was planning to post those nudes. But I'm glad I found out she had Thilo before me, before I put my dick up her ass. I was be able to stop myself just in time. Djees, it would have felt like fucking Thilo up the ass. Coming to think of it, I'd be doing him a favor. Don't ask me how, I just feel it. It must be a hard yet possitive shock for Thilo to find out I finally put my cock somewhere he has been before. Excluding the mouth of Janet Jackson of course. She's all yours Thilo.
By now I don't even know what I'm writing about, and why Thilo all of the sudden pops into my article. If I'm not careful, TheBigRipOff will write a negative review about me. Not that I care actually. I know you'll all agree on my next statement. There's no better way to get fame and glory than letting people badmouth you. Well, thanks BigShitOff. It seems we're doing eachother a favor.
PS: Never bullshit again that I never update. I update 3561% more than Maddox, keep that in mind.
(started 10-10-06)
(last updated 10-10-06)
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