Want to quit smoking? This is how, and it's fun!
A week ago, I had a brain-wave
that big, my head almost exploded in a quatrilizian pieces. I found the best,
and the most fun (for me) ways giving up smoking and get rid of all the useless
people that are wandering the Highlands of damnation. Here is what you should
do:
| Only smoke after sex | The people who
read this site obviously have no life at all, and in best case they have
an internet girlfriend/boyfriend. Conclussion: no sex = no cigarette! |
| Only smoke after a meal | You
probably haven't too much money, and spend your last buck on an internet
cafe just to read my latest updates. Damn, no money left for food?! Too
bad, no smoke for you pal. |
| Only smoke after a meal (method two) | If you really want to keep
this one going, just stop eating. You'll save money from not buying food,
you aren't allowed to smoke, and probably die from under-nourishment. Conclussion: you stopped smoking AND you died! Two great things at a time! |
| Break your cigarettes | Buy a pack of cigarettes
you like, break every single sigarette in half. Buy another pack and do
the same over and over again until you are broke. Conclussion: no money = no cigarettes! |
| Get a new addiction | The very best way to quit an addict, is getting a new, healthier one. Why now start drinking like a Russian? It gives you nicer additional effects. You already smoke and drink? Sorry chump, this one can't help you then. |
| Give away all your cigarettes | The best way to do this one, is mailing tons of cigarettes to me. Just send me a mail with the subject line "cigarettes" to gothrix_666@hotmail.com, and I'll reply you with my address. |
See? It isn't that bad, is it? Basicly every way you can think of to give up smoking includes being broke. If you start to know me, you know what I'm going to say next. Donate every last cent you have to me. From all the money I'll get, I'll buy an entire cigarette factory and smoke until I have lungcancer. When that happens, I'll get myself some lungtransplantations every six months, and live forever. You stopped smoking, I didn't, and we'll be still alive. Works out fine, doesn't it? We'd both be doing eachother a favor.
Another problem I've solved. I rule!
(started 04-30-05)
(last updated 04-30-05)
people gave up smoking because of me (total
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